Don’t Get Distracted by Trivial Games
Keep your eyes on what matters and start living your “good” life.
In the African savanna, a limping wildebeest has little chance of survival. The moment it is seen, predators close in, and it becomes an easy meal. For most of human history, life wasn’t so different. Survival was brutal, demanding constant vigilance. Hunger, disease, and danger dictated every decision. But we, as a species, fought through it. We built shelter, discovered medicine, and created abundance.
You and I no longer fight off predators or foraging for your next meal. So why do so many still feel restless?
Today, survival isn’t our primary concern.
We have:
climbed to the top of the food chain
eradicated illnesses
and doubled our life expectancy*
But now, a new problem emerges: What do we do with all this extra time and opportunity?
The Prerequisite for the “Good” Life
Once basic survival is secured, humans naturally seek “the good life” aka fulfillment. Believe it or not, the “good” life is not for everyone. There is something that you need to do first so that you can enter its realm. Namely, satisfying your basic needs. These are the same basic needs that Maslow illustrated in his Hierarchy of Needs.
Once your physiological and safety needs are met, you can leave the survival state and enter a state of thriving.
The Hidden Cost of the “Good” Life
But fulfillment isn’t a default state — it’s something we must consciously create. The problem? Many people unknowingly replace true fulfillment with distractions disguised as success. Society feeds us this narrative. Social media, career achievements, luxury purchases — these things offer short bursts of pleasure, but they often pull us into a game that isn't truly ours. We chase prestige, comparison, and validation instead of crafting a life built on genuine meaning. This is the status trap.
Think about it: Have you ever felt restless despite “having it all”? Do you endlessly scroll your phone, buy things you don’t need, or overcommit to work that doesn’t excite you? You’re not alone. Our modern world is filled with highly engineered distractions, designed to keep us busy AND unfulfilled.
So what happens when we mistake status for success? We get trapped.
It’s a Trap!
The status games start harmless, but quickly you can lose yourself in them. Like quicksand, the deeper you go, the harder it is to get out. And I don’t blame you for falling for it. It’s expertly designed by society. I know — because I fell for it myself.
Fresh out of university, I landed my first full-time job, being a recruitment consultant. My bills were covered, my fridge was full, and every extra effort meant more money in my pocket. But the real currency? Recognition
Sales was the perfect arena for competition. I wasn’t just working, I was hunting for validation.
Status games are for competitive people pleasers.
In training, I had to be the best. At work, I sized up my peers, then my seniors, climbing the ranks like a game with no finish line. Winning felt good — not because I was getting better, but because I was outpacing my peers. I was caught on a treadmill of competition and wasn’t getting any closer to fulfillment - and before long, I felt empty inside. I was performing and winning, but for the wrong reasons.
So, how did I break free?
The ARCH Model: A Framework for Fulfillment
You break free from the status trap by focusing on living a life that is intentional and designed — not what we think will impress others. I built the following framework to realign myself. I call it ARCH, an acronym that stands for the 4 main pillars that every fulfilling life is built on:
Adventure
Relationships
Career (Contribution / Creation)
Health
Since I have designed my ARCH, it acts as my north star:
I have more clarity
I can differentiate between genuine wants and status wants
Ultimately making decision-making effortless in all areas of my life
How to Apply the ARCH Model to Your Life
Define your ARCH
What adventure excites you?
What relationships matter?
What impact do you want to make?
What is your ideal health?
You can make use of your anti-vision here.
Audit your current life?
What blockers are preventing you from living out your ARCH?
Where are you already living your ARCH? (Celebrate these)
Course Correct with Invention
The Bottom Line
The “good” life isn't about playing someone else’s game better than they do. It’s about stepping off the treadmill of meaningless status-seeking and walking a road that is uniquely yours.
So, what’s your next move? Will you keep chasing distractions, or will you start shaping a life that truly fulfills you?
Thanks for reading.
Until next time,
Patrick
If you want to start designing your ARCH, I’ve prepared a free worksheet to guide you. Just comment 'ARCH' and I’ll send it your way.
Side Note
I was just on Safari in South Africa and couldn’t help but sprinkle in some of the gems I was able to capture. This is me living out my Adventure in the ARCH Model. There is no need to wait for you to enjoy yourself. Life is longer, but that is not guaranteed. So once you meet your basic needs, also make sure to spend time enjoying yourself.
Footnote
In 1900, the average life expectancy of a newborn was 32 years. By 2021 this had more than doubled to 71 years. (Dattani, 2023)
Resources
Saloni Dattani, Lucas Rodés-Guirao, Hannah Ritchie, Esteban Ortiz-Ospina and Max Roser (2023) - “Life Expectancy” Published online at OurWorldinData.org. Retrieved from: 'https://ourworldindata.org/life-expectancy' [Online Resource]
Fabulous photos! Love the article as well :)